A Healing Relationship
A Therapist’s view of Psychological Healing and Growth
by Anna Chandy
Having been a therapist for over a decade and a half, I believe that in human potential work, the core ingredient is the relationship between the therapist and the client.
In the early years of my practice, being a new entrant with only western theory as my platform, I did not understand the importance and value of the natural, flowing relatedness that is required in the process of healing and problem solving.
Natural and flowing as I define it, encompasses both the conscious and unconscious, and the knowledge and awareness of the therapist that they are as human as their clients. Therefore, the therapist is not driven by the professional requirements of the relationship, but rather they are driven by their own authenticity of being human. The façade of a ‘professional persona’, often expected of a therapist, takes a backseat and in its stead, authenticity is experienced potently by the client.
Today as a therapist, my personal mission and philosophy is to relate to individuals in a more wholesome way. While I recognise, value and appreciate theory, I constantly tailor my work to connect to the uniqueness of the individual client.
A year ago, a young male client of mine walked in for his weekly session and said, ‘I am bored of my own story today tell me a bit of yours. I know you’re a strong woman, but I recognize that you too, like me, have experienced pain.” Although taken by surprise, I shared a part of my story and thus began a new journey of relatedness between us.
My sharing impacted him and touched unconscious parts of his being – parts which then slowly entered his conscious being. My authentic self at that moment, promoted the client towards experiencing a hidden, yet authentic part of himself. There was a shared togetherness of one another’s vulnerabilities. In Transaction Analysis terms, there was a Free Child to Free Child nonverbal exchange of transactions and strokes. Parallely, this enabled me to link the various threads of my persona, with my conscious and unconscious framework, thereby enriching my own potential and growth.
In my work, I am promoting and creating a space for the client to feel that, “I feel OK where I am and you feel OK where you are.”. It is with this understanding and shared responsibility that together we will explore and discover insights that promote healing.